Question: The note your dad wrote to your mom before they were married was touching, but I don't think it was realistic. He promised to stay with her no matter what! That was very risky. We can't foresee the future, and I don't think it's wise to say what a person will do in a crunch.
Answer: I disagree strongly. When you consider the many pressures that couples face today, only an iron-clad determination will hold them together for a lifetime. Those who go into marriage with a mushy commitment are likely to wobble and fall apart when the hard times come. And as we all know, hard times will come.
I'm reminded of my friends, Keith and Mary Korstjens, who have been married more than forty years. Shortly after their honeymoon, Mary was stricken with polio and became a quadriplegic. The doctors informed her that she would be confined to a wheelchair for the rest of her life.
Nevertheless, Keith never wavered in his commitment to Mary. For all these years, he has bathed and dressed her, carried her to and from her bed, taken her to the bathroom, brushed her teeth, and combed her hair. Keith could have divorced Mary in 1957 and looked for a new, healthier wife. But he never even considered it. I admire Keith not only for hanging tough, but for continuing to love and cherish his wife. This couple has been an inspiration to thousands through the past four decades.(1)
Without the kind of commitment my dad made to my mom, their marriage would never have survived.
By Dr. James Dobson